This week was a week that I needed absolute silence. Laughter annoyed me. Yelling made me anxious. Talking irritated me. The sound of any and all noise made me just want to curl up and be by myself.
I had tasks that I needed to complete in the evenings but silence in my bedroom was where I was drawn too.
I drove without the radio on in the car and no headphones at work. Every bleep of sound agitated me. I work in a wide open office so silence never came. I felt trapped and on edge.
I feel like I am having a breakdown today, I was pushed too far mentally despite pulling back. I’m upset with myself for locking myself away in the evenings, not even reading. Just sleeping – where sound didn’t interrupt.
The only time where I felt at ease was when I was sitting on a patio Wednesday morning, drinking coffee while waiting for the bus. I felt chipper and energized. Where did that all go?
A half an hour of contentment in an entire five day period. I’m exhausted. I hope I can get outside this weekend.