I hate when my mind starts to chatter the self-doubt that lurks behind my strength. I wonder if I will ever really be free from the prison.
Why do I have to be this way? I have come so far and out of nowhere the clouds start to darken. The overwhelming heaviness becomes too much and I just want to go to sleep. Close my eyes and join the dark. It’s exhausting.
I feel sad and lonely. Left out. I’m surrounded by people I care about and I like solitude otherwise. What is wrong with me? I shake my fist at my mind. I’m beyond irritable even with the people I love.
I take my medication on a regular basis and check in with my doctor every few months to talk about doses and how I am feeling. I see my therapist when things get really bad. I practice self-care on a consistent basis. Sure, I could get more exercise and eat a little better but I mostly do everything right to manage my mental health.
I know how I am feeling will soon pass. I just hate this part of my depression. I just want to go to sleep.