At times I have felt like I am not sure where I fit in. A common topic in peer-support sobriety articles is about relationships and how the dynamics are affected. This has sometimes left me feeling in limbo. I am protective of my personal space and how I spend my time. The path towards and beyond change is not straightforward nor should it be. The point of change is to progress and rise.
I often wonder if sobriety has brought out introverted traits that lied dormant below my extrovertedness because a lot of my important moments have been in solitude. I have chosen to breathe new life into my life by being alone. I have been an extrovert my entire life so the desire to be alone, and productive during that time was and still is a new experience.
What I do with my down time has been carefully crafted and done with the intention of harmony. As I learned earlier this year at the Snowflake Winter Wellness Festival, harmony is about honouring what I need in the different seasons of my life. I have sought solitude since making my mental health a priority. I have been able to delve deep to seek inspiration and understand realizations. This is work that I needed to be alone for.
Back in January, I wrote about my to-be list for this year:
Confident, strong, fearless, loving, free, punctual, inspiring, comical, sexy, bold, organized, and aware.
My third year sobriety gift to myself has been space in my life to do what is meaningful to me. I took a leap of faith and have aimed to cultivate moments that speak to my to-be list. The experiences that I have given myself this year align with what my spirit needs.
Beyond the solitude that I appreciate, I am still an extrovert and want to be around people. It has been important for me to make connections with women who are interested in personal growth and have similar interests as I do. This is comparable to when I was a stay at home mom and was a very active member of Momstown.
I coincidentally attracted people this year who have similar to-be lists. I have met incredible women who have a passion for the outdoors and inspire me. I have become involved with grassroots mental health organizations where women share stories to empower one another. I have found people who I share genuine conversations with and I have made meaningful connections.
The power in change is when the digging for discovery uncovers hidden gems that can be added to the collection of achievements that make me sparkle and shine. I owe my life, with what I have and what I hold, to the power of embracing change. There is absolutely no way I would have what I have today had I not made the choice to stop drinking and make my mental health the highest priority.
For a little extra reading and if you like Brené Brown, she is 23 years sober and wrote about what it means to her: https://brenebrown.com/articles/2019/05/31/what-being-sober-has-meant-to-me/