Welcome to the end of 2020. It will not be missed but it will surely be remembered. While looking through photos I took this year and reading journal entries, there were a lot of very good times sprinkled in among all the challenging times. In my current mindset, I would go as far to say … Continue reading End of 2020 Reflection
My clinical depression met my covid depression earlier this year and now covid depression is preparing to meet my seasonal depression. My clinical depression and seasonal depression know one another quite well but covid depression is the annoying third-wheel. With all three of these depressions mixing and mingling and the days getting shorter, I have … Continue reading Preparing for a Long, Dark Winter
I've had some writers block with my blog even though my head has been buried deep in my journal. I have documented my experience with COVID-19, from sun up to sun down. I have been writing in it numerous times a day from what political and medical leaders are saying to how things are going … Continue reading Why I Journal While Hiking
I anticipated the layoff from my job. I understand how business works. My husband and I talked about the possibility of it happening and even though I wasn't surprised when my manager called me, it has been troublesome to adapt. I managed to keep my head above the water last week while trying to find … Continue reading Keeping My Head Above the Water
I took a leave of absence from work recently due to my mental health taking a sharp decline. My depression and anxiety combined with acute life stress made day-to-day functioning extremely challenging. Mental illness is one of those things that unless you personally have experience with it, either through loved ones or yourself can be … Continue reading It Just Became Way Too Much
Tears poured out of my eyes while I sat at my desk. My computer monitor had multiple Excel sheets open and that was where my focus was supposed to be. My headspace was elsewhere. I knew there was a priority but I felt anxious, lost, overwhelmed, and distant. None of what I felt was related … Continue reading I Have Depression
I joined Backcountry Women this morning for a hike around Birds Hill Park but I unfortunately needed to cut my participation short. With the temperature hovering around -28°C, my asthma acted up and I had a hard time controlling my breathing. After communicating with the group leader, I slowly made my way back to the … Continue reading To Feel Something
This time of the year is fucking hard for me. I'm just going to come right out and say that I dread this time of the year. I found myself in a Jollibee parking lot last night eating the skin of fried chicken. It was one of the lowest points of my existence during the … Continue reading Potential news headline, “Local woman smashes Jollibee statue with sledgehammer in Christmas rage”
I wrote this post earlier in the year on my phone while I was at the gym. For some reason today, I feel compelled to share this story. Depression was attempting to pull me in. A change of perspective is sometimes what I need. To be gentle with myself and not fight. To just let … Continue reading A Session at the Gym with Depression
While I was shaving my legs, which practically needed hedge clippers, I was rehearsing how I was going to answer the inevitable question that people ask when they meet someone for the first time, "so, what do you do?" I was shaving my overgrown leg hair and dressing up in a skirt and blouse to … Continue reading Owning my story
